new minds with no programs

The Wow! Signal

2010-04-05T23:52:00.006-04:00

No I am not talking about world of warcraft.

The Wow! signal is a transmission picked up by the Big Ear radio telescope. The signal was so unusual it caused the researcher to write WOW! in the margin of the record, thus the name. The signal is possibly our best evidence of an artificial radio transmission from space. Even skeptical researchers have agreed that it is very unlikely to be reflected Earth based transmissions or an aberration in a natural continuous noise. What is even more bizarre is that the signal comes from the middle of no where in space. Meaning no planets, no solar system. Is this an SOS from an intergalactic titanic?

Now while the scientific skeptic in me wants to believe that this is probably caused by some unknown astrophysical phenomenon we have yet to discover, another part of me wonders if intelligent, signal producing life may not be the phenomenon we have yet to discover.
Now don't get me wrong. I am not a believer in ETs and Area 51 or abductions or anything like that. I don't believe that aliens are little green men among us and that Earth is such a damn interesting place that they keep wanting to come back and stick things in the anuses of people living in rural areas.

(courtesy of XKCD)

But who can say that in all the vastness of the universe we are the only life that decided to broadcast? I prefer to imagine that just maybe we are catching the very smallest sliver of some larger drama. Think of all of the stories we can't even imagine telling.

check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wow!_signal

Fun with Fistulation

2010-02-01T22:53:00.007-05:00

So for my last class we were learning about ruminant nutrition. In an effort to show us how cattle select forage, our professor set up an exercise with some rumen-fistulated steers.

Ok, so here is how this works. The rumen is the large fermenting section of a cow's 4 chamber stomach. When the steer is fully grown, a veterinarian performs a surgery in which the rumen wall is stitched to the skin and left to heal. This leaves a 4 inch diameter hole directly into the animal's stomach. This is sealed with a plastic cap and the animal can go about their lives with no side effects.

We took 3 fistulated steers up to the Maxwell Research Ranch and let them acclimate for a few days before the study. The morning of the study, we rounded up the steers and got them locked into the chute so that we could handle them. We popped open the plastic caps on their stomachs and got scooping. We had to remove all of the solid matter by hand.
Here I am arm deep in the first steer.

There is a massive volume of material in the rumen. Each animal hadn't eaten since the night before and still had about 30 gallons of material in their rumens. Our professor considers cleaning out rumens to be a right of passage due to the paticular smell of partially fermented cow food. Its not like methane or cow shit as it hasn't been digested that far, but the microbes in the rumen are producing volatile fatty acids that do smell. This is the amount of material taken from one steer. The bubbles are the fermentation byproducts

After scooping out by hand as much as we could we had to use a shop vac to clean out their stomachs. That's right, we used a shop vac inside a live animal. Blew my mind.
Once the steer were empty, we let them back out to graze as they were suddenly very hungry. We had some students trying to clip forage samples similar to what the animals were consuming. After we let them graze for almost an hour we rounded them back up, put them in the shoot and opened their rumens again. We took samples of the recently consumed material, the partially digested material, and the rumen fluid and then put the entire trashcan of goop back in the animal.
The point of this whole exercise was to see what the animals were actually eating. While a .25 square meter plot of forage may have only 3-5% crude protein content, the cattle were able to pick the best parts and ended up with a dietary crude protein content as high as 8%. That pretty impressive considering they look like living lawnmowers.

Here are some of the better pictures from the day.

This guy was a kicker

Here is my prof vacuuming out the steer

Megan getting deep

Joel watching the cattle graze

It got a little messy...

A lovely yet chilly day on the ranch

This guy was my favorite. He let me pick burrs out of his coat.

Black hole

So overall it was a fun yet exhausting day. We returned to campus hopefully wiser, surely smellier.

Vet Stuff 1/11-1/18

2010-01-18T23:53:00.004-05:00

So I am trying to keep a record of some of the more interesting cases I am involved with at the humane society so that I can hopefully include them in some amazing inspired personal statement later on this year.
So here are some of last weeks highlights:

Stray cat was brought in by the animal control officers. We aren't sure whether the cat was hit by a car or attacked by an animal, but it was missing about 10 square inches of skin on its left hip and the whole area was infected. Despite being very hurt the cat was still kickin and was so aggressive we had to burrito it in a towel and use a mask to sedate him. Luckily the vet was able to get it all cleaned up and remove the dead tissue. Kitty is now healing and much less angry.
We had a ferret in the clinic that was maced by police. Apparently the owner was resisting arrest and the police shot mace grenades in through the windows. They discovered the innocent ferret after arresting the man and took the poor animal to the vet school to be decontaminated. While the poor guy should have no lasting damage, he has lost almost all of the fur on the middle of his body and looks more like a fleshy tube sock at the moment.
While working in the wildkind department, an officer brought in a raccoon that was found living in a backyard shed. The guy was apparently easy to catch, but once in the cage proceeded to freak out. He peeled up the metal bottom of the cage, so by the time we got him his hands were bleeding profusely. Bob, the head of wildkind was able to coax the raccoon into a larger cage to get a good look at him. This is the biggest raccoon I have ever seen. We usually work with babies and adolescents that are up to 20 lbs. This guy was probably >35lbs. He is also a little worse for wear. His left eye is milky and blind, his tail is missing and his teeth would make Austin Power's cringe. After doning shoulder length chain mail gloves and leather armored gauntlets, Bob grabs the guy out of the cage and wrestles him to the ground. He ends up having to sit on him and can barely control the head while another employee feels the furless patch between his shoulder blades. Unfortunately for old man raccoon it was covered in small scabby bumps. I learn that this is a sure sign that this raccoon has distemper. This deadly disease apparently causes self mutilation (there goes the tail), gingivitis (there go the teeth), and eventually death. It is highly contagious and very few animals survive. We unfortunately had to euthanize the hardy old bugger even though he looked like he may have been on the road to recovery as it would be impossible for us to re-release him knowing he had the disease. On a gruesome side note, Bob once saw a distemper raccoon chew off its own penis.
Wildkind had another raccoon brought in that had been hit by a car. The adult male was lucky enough to not loose any limbs. Bob had done a good job of stabilizing him but he was still not eating well. The vet agreed to take a look at the guy's mouth. It took Bob and another vet tech to get the pre-surgery morphine shot into the guy, but 5 min later he looked very happy and very stoned. It was pretty easy getting him fully sedated and intubated. Turns out that the car had crushed all of his front teeth and they were now infected. The doc was able to get all of the infected teeth pulled and sewed the gums back together with dissolving sutures. The raccoon should have no problem in the future because the teeth most essential to eating (canines and molars) were thankfully intact. Last I heard, the raccoon was recovering well and eating again

Here are some pictures I took during the surgery

That is Bob in the blue scrub top

Well that's it for now. I am going to try and be disciplined and keep recording interesting cases.

Lady GayGay

2010-01-05T01:15:00.002-05:00

Ok, I will admit I am a closeted Gaga fan. I am not saying she is the artist of our generation but she makes damn catchy songs.

Almost as catchy, is this remake of poker face by the westboro baptist church.
God Hates Fags and Lady Gaga. Seriously people with all of the terrible, corrupt things in the world you are protesting Lady Gaga?!?!

@LadyGaga "Poker Face" parody by WBC is done! Lyrics: http://tiny.cc/LGL2 Music: sound bite

nerd time

2009-12-23T01:40:00.002-05:00

I know I am a huge science geek. For example I got really amped today talking about Ardipithecus ramidus and Homo floresiensis with the vet tech at the humane society, and was extremely pleased that I knew that a fat cat not eating was at risk for ketoacidosis.

I am sometimes baffled by people who are not interested in science. It just seems like the universe is so facinating you must find some of the science interesting. Here is a video for nerds and those trying to love a nerd

music after 11

2009-12-20T01:12:00.005-05:00

trout heart replica is still one of my favorites

Killing things is not so hard
It's hurting that's the hardest part
When the wizard gets to me
I'm asking for a smaller heart

this is as far as i could get
he jabbed a needle in my neck
erasing all the evidence
but there were match sticks in my pants
and if a rock should hit my head
and i remember what he did
you'll be the very first to know
maybe i'll find out why this damn thing won't stop bleeding

zoe keating reminds me of hanging my head off the edge of my mattress to watch snow fall blur with twinkle lights and wishing i was sleeping

how do i feel this good sober

everything is perfect now

The animals in my life

2009-12-19T22:42:00.003-05:00

Baby Mika the tiger
we chuff (tis how tigers say hello check it out )

Leopards enjoying the morning sun

Camel at the ranch

Bison at the Ranch

Cappy, Lakota, and Mystic

In the tiger round house

Coatis waiting for their fruit pie

Lioness

Lazy Tigers

Brody and I napping

Amanda Palmer- Is pop art art?

2009-12-19T22:40:00.002-05:00

A lovely vlog from amanda fucking palmer on women in the music industry and the role of pop in the art world. looooove her
Every thing is better on a ukelele

This Is Quite Possibly The Coolest Art I Have Ever Seen

2009-09-25T23:12:00.002-04:00

This woman won the Ukraine's Got Talent contest with her sand art performance. She is able to live animate a story of the invasion of Ukraine during WWII in sand. Absolutely incredible

Thanks NPR

Compare and Contrast

2009-08-11T19:22:00.003-04:00

The health care debate is driving me nuts. I come from a family of doctors and I know my opinions are shaped by their expeiences and views. Both of my parents believe that we MUST reform the system even though it will cost them a substantial portion of their salaries. The insurance companies are a scam. There needs to be more government regulation. My otherwise healthy 25 year old sister can only get coverage from her university because of some herniated disks in her back and a friend my age with lukemia will have no options when she graduates next year. That is wrong.

Now I enjoy watching political news shows (of the liberal tilt) but I try and listen to conservative pundits as well. I have trouble making it through half of a broadcast. The misinformation and scare tactics are disgraceful.

Here are two clips. One from Keith Olbermann and one from Glenn Beck.

While I agree with Keith and can't stand Glenn I think its really interesting to hear how similar their outrage is but how differently it is packaged. While Keith is very well spoken, it is always with a feel of intellectual down talking. He uses long words and complex sentence structures woven in an almost hypnotic way such that I sometimes find it hard to follow. I get lost in the flow.

Glenn on the other hand tries to be the "everyman" and defend America against the rich intelligista who have "high jacked" the government. His sentences are short and delivered at maximum volume. While Keith scolds, Glenn mocks.

It all seems like school yard politics. And everytime Obama tries to instigate balanced adult discussion he gets nanner nanner boo booed from both sides.

thanks to Ana Marie Cox's blog for the clips

Pirates of the Potato Kind

2009-07-27T00:04:00.006-04:00

Went to see my friends' band The Potato Pirates kick off their summer tour on the 16th. It was pretty awesome. The show was at Moe's BBQ and Bowling Alley on south Broadway. The BBQ was amazing and I definitely want to go back and bowl some time.
I tried to video a couple of the songs. The audio isn't great because I was so close to the guitar amps but I got some ok clips.
Here is Ghost Ship

And here is Start the Show

If you are interested in the band go to their website

They have a self titled album on sale on iTunes

End of Show Madness on Stage

Fists

Zach "Skinny Vinny" Capaldo

Nick McCombie and the Reverend David LaBarbra

Mattrick Emrick

My favorite beer! Yay for being back in Colorado

3rd of July

2009-07-07T01:33:00.008-04:00

Went up to Salida for the 3rd of July which was my grandparents' 61st wedding anniversary. We had a little party for them with fried chicken and other yummy foods then lit some fireworks.

Alex (my uncle's step son) is a fireworks fiend. Here he is lighting the biggest one we had, kind of a let down, but my whole family is cute.

Family banter about my uncle Kurt's redneck wedding.

Salida is a really beautiful area

oh ya

2009-07-03T01:53:00.001-04:00

I forgot to mention in the last post that this happened
Most ridiculous outfit ever. Whoever decided a square cardboard hat was fitting garb for the pinnacle of academic achievement should be shunned.

still alive

2009-07-03T00:46:00.004-04:00

So i am back blogosphere. I have been very negligent of updating this thing recently. But nobody really reads this anyways so its not a huge deal.
I am back home and doing nothing. I decided to not do the internship at the wildlife rehabilitation center because it was too far away, too much time, and no money. But I did just apply for a job with the Division of Wildlife as a wildlife technician tracking the spread of chronic wasting disease in wild elk, moose and deer populations. So basically I would be driving around, talking to hunters and collecting animal heads. Pleasant right? But I would get into the DOW and get to work in wildlife management which would be cool. fingers crossed I get it.

I have been just hanging out now that I have nothing to do. I am on my 3rd book and I ride my scooter every day.

I am playing field hockey with the adult league in Denver. Its suprisingly high level play, last night the opposing teams forward line had an ex-USA men's national team player, an ex-Dutch men's national team player, and a currant USA women's national team player. I got schooled but at least it was pretty to watch.

My goal for the summer is to learn how to cook so if anyone has any interesting recipes send them my way. I will actually have to feed myself next year so its an issue of survival.

I find it suprising how content I am with my life right now. I've got my friends, I've got my puppy, things look up in my love life for a change. I'm in Colorado and I have a plan for the foreseeable future. I don't really know what to do with this contentedness. I am used to being upset or brooding or at least dissatisfied. Any advice for contentedness would be appreciated =)

Free fancy dinner courtesy of Tabard dues

2009-05-09T23:08:00.003-04:00

Tabard Exec Retreat dinner at the Juniper Hill Inn was AMAZING!!

Fancy mansion

Our Private Dining Room

Amanda and Me outside the Inn
Steph and I enjoying our wine
and looking damn fine

Kush and execs et al

My macadamia encrusted lamb

Me =)Pretty Flowers on the table

Almost there

2009-05-09T14:46:00.005-04:00

Sara Sisun's Art installation, she is awesome

I got a haircut today, check it out. I'm only in a sports bra because its too hot in my room.
i don't think its as short as I normally get it but that just means I have to get it cut in 3 weeks instead of 4

Took brody to the dog park this morning. She wasn't so sure about some of the bigger dogs but she did ok. Whenever she got scared she jumped up on the picnic table. I brushed her too. Rediculous amounts of hair.
The Annual Dartmouth PowWow is this weekend but I don't think I am going to go watch.

11 Days to my birthday
24 Days of classes left
36 Days to Graduation

Psychosomatic swine flu?

2009-05-04T22:31:00.002-04:00

So there are 5 cases of swine flu here at Dartmouth and I am getting sick. I don't think its swine flu because I don't have a cough, but sucks none the less. Luckily our beautiful tyke (read: dirty, shhhh don't tell) pledge Mia brought me mint tea which is helping my stomach.
Today I did something I haven't done in a long time: unicycle joyriding. Complete with music, dancing, and drum solos. The nice weather and empty parking lots made me miss home and miss my bronco. I felt like I was 16 again. Somehow my ipod shuffle knows my mood and picks the perfect song. Brilliant!

I feel like I should be more upset over the weekends events, but it hasn't effected me really. I am very zen about it. Just going on with my life. I want to start meditating more. Anybody know anything about aromatherapy?

In other news, I am definitely going to CSU in the fall =)
Now I have to find a place to live. I am so excited to live in my own place and have my own kitchen. Mostly I am excited to have more than 100 square feet of personal space for me and brody.

I went on a Primitive Wilderness Survival trip this weekend and learned all sorts of cool stuff but I will post all of that and some pictures later when I have the motivation to find my camera and upload the pictures.

Until then, lets hope I am not actually getting sick, positive vibes

god is in the rain

2009-04-28T00:33:00.003-04:00

watching V for Vendetta while studying made me sad. Tragic gay love story, government developed virus, no one to watch it with. Good god it is hot in hanover. Its after midnight and its 62 degrees.

Also I am freaking the fuck out about swine flu. Reminds me of Frank Herbert's book the White Plague. On a positive note if it reaches new hampshire I think the college will send us home. THat would be ideal but selfish to wish for.

I am so fucking sick of hanover, i just want to be done with dartmouth already so that i can go back to colorado. i miss the life i had there. and i know going back won't bring that back but i like who i am and what i do when i am in colorado. dartmouth just seems like a fake place and the life i lead here seems very artificial. 48 days left....

heres to hoping i don't die of swine flu

"Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch we are free.
I'd always known what I wanted to do with my life, and in 2015 I starred in my first film, The Salt Flats. It was the most important role of my life, not because of my career, but because that was how I met Ruth. The first time we kissed, I knew I never wanted to kiss any other lips but hers again...It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologised to no-one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch but one. An inch - it is small and it is fragile, and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must never let them take it from us."

FOX 3!

2009-04-20T23:22:00.003-04:00

Top gun is on tv! love love love. I am so into the movie I almost can't watch it...almost. I get so excited and i want to talk about it and quote all the lines. Its annoying. I want to go all Mulan and be a man to fly the pretty pretty F-22s. I must learn to be mysterious as the dark side of the moon first.

When I was little my sister and I would watch this movie with my Dad and fly around the living room like air planes during the opening sequence. I know every line in the movie and 70% of the time I need to say "No" when confirming something I say "Negative ghost rider the pattern is full." The soundtrack was my favorite cassette and CD for a long time.

In more depressing news, the skin of an Amur leopard was found in a car in Russia. There are only a few DOZEN left in the wild and some asshole wants to poach? If you must kill an endangered animal why the fucking Amur leopard. sad face for felines =(
full story

I am all into this movie right now. As some may know I used to go to Aviation challenge camps (space camp for plane junkies) and I have a legit flight suit that I wear sometimes when watching this movie. I am that nerdy.

insert electric guitar power chord here.

I feel the need, the need for speed!
and by that I mean I am going to read about enzymes in my gigantic biochem text book

gay hair

2009-04-14T00:03:00.004-04:00

For some reason my dog always puts her butt on me when she sleeps and then farts on my leg inconspicuously.

I only had 25 minutes between the end of my yoga class and the start of the Daniel Webster dinner for seniors that I had to go to tonight and I did a damn good job of showering and getting there on time. I do have very gay hair though.

speaking of very gay i love Kat Von D. Maybe its because she is like a more tattooed Carmen.

She has a new make up line. I'm not one for a lot of make up but i do like fun eye shadow. Check it out

ok now i am officially pissed

2009-04-13T00:59:00.002-04:00

Alkaline trio is playing red rocks on may 28th
Rise against is playing red rocks on June 11th
I don't get home until June 15th
Less than jake, horrorpops, anti-flag, and tiger army are NOT playing colorado this summer
Tat is coming but with Warped Tour and there is no way i am paying for that bullshit

god dammit

also fun

2009-04-13T00:50:00.001-04:00

can't go wrong with go-go dancers

they are in denver soon and i won't be able to see them!

gah i can't wait to get out of the new england woods so i can go to shows again
=(

62 days left...

good music

2009-04-13T00:30:00.003-04:00

Time To Waste- Alkaline Trio
"you've got guts to spill but no one trustworthy"

Audience of One- Rise Against
they won't let you embed but here is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt5UPKD6yWs
i love the lead singer in this band. this has been my "belt it out" song recently

The Science of Selling Yourself Short- Less than Jake
I missed their show in Denver over spring break because of the apocalyptic march snow and the broken mother. =(

easter

2009-04-12T23:56:00.002-04:00

today was a very cold easter. i thought it is supposed to be a very springy day with baby animals and everything. instead it was 39 and windy, ew. We had a nice brunch at Tabard and I got some work done so the day was not a total loss. My increased twittering has decreased my blogging.

Since i last updated this I decided it would be a good idea to punch the wall next to my bed when i was frustrated with the loud drunk people after meetings last wednesday. At first I thought I broke my hand. I had to go in to the training room the next day to get x ray orders and saw a doc up at dick's house. Not broken but sprained so i get to wear a gross colored brace. my hand if feeling a lot better but i still can put much weight on it. stupid jordie.

I am building dying frames for the costume shop and I was supposed to have them finished by friday but I couldn't because of my hand. I have to go in tomorrow and get them done hopefully. They are paying me 15$/hr though, that's twice what the scene shop pays me. Speaking of getting paid I need to figure out what I am doing this summer and if there is any money involved. EEEK!

Adorable puppy face

Reunited

2009-04-05T23:46:00.002-04:00

I have my puppy back!!! My parents drove in around this afternoon and we took her on a walk. She was really excited to be back in a place she knew after the long road trip so she had to stop and smell EVERYTHING. Mom was very drugged because of her back but she still tried drinking part of a margarita at Molly's. She pretty much passed out when they got to their hotel.
I am in super school mode. I am a week and a half ahead in two of my classes. Maybe if I work faster school will go by faster. Only 70 days left which means that tomorrow is 69 DAYS TO GRADUATION TAILS! wooo. The theme is anything but clothes, we'll see if that actually happens (probably not unless I get drunk which is unlikely)

I need a hair cut, i am a shaggy shaggy dog right now. tuesday i will be freshly shorn again

09salicious

2009-03-31T11:07:00.002-04:00

senior spring. THANK GOD! so close to being done. I had a major panic attack coming back to campus. I just really don't care to be here anymore. But at least it is warmer and I still have the theater to play in and my puppy will be here soon. I am ready to get out of here and do something new.
On a positive note, my two anthro classes, Humans and Animals and Human Evolution, sound pretty fun. Biochem should be difficult but at least its not orgo. I am going to take it NRO which means if I get a B- or above it goes on my transcript if I get below a B- it just says NR for not recorded. So that shouldn't destroy my GPA hopefully.

I heart amanda palmer. She is trying to get fired from her corporate record label. Here is her most recent effort:

Tat tat tat

2009-03-26T22:37:00.003-04:00

I got my tattoo finished! It wasn't nearly as bad as last time. I didn't pass out/vomit so thats always a plus. When he said we had 15 minutes left I was expecting another hour so it went by quickly. We only needed another 2 hrs to finish so I also have more money saved than I needed. Hurray!!
I think he did an awesome job. I love the color but it keeps surprising me. I have never had green skin before. I will probably go back at some point and get the blue sky halo around it but I was too worn out to do it. During the course of three hours I had a vicodin and 2 xanex so i was so high after the tattoo. I came home and just giggled and watched tv. Better than being doubled over sick like last time.

Today was like march blizzard apocalypse. My mom threw out her back and collapsed in the kitchen. It took me an hour and twenty minutes to get her from the floor of the kitchen to her bed. Then I had to drive to the pharmacy to get her muscle relaxants. The roads were insane. People were crashing all over and running across the roads. We got about a foot today, the city was supposed to get 10-16. Crazy! Ah well, my mom is doing a bit better, walking around a bit. I go back to Dartmouth tomorrow for the last time ever!!
So close, so far

shopping?!

2009-03-22T00:38:00.003-04:00

So first day home was shopping day. Me, my mom, my grandmother, my sister and Brooke (family friend staying at the house) all went to Park Meadows to look for graduation outfits for Brooke and I. I hate shopping for nice clothes so I pretty much just let other people find items that I then try on. But it was really successful. I found two dresses that I liked that were both really reasonalbly priced and I can wear to lots of different things. I also got shoes. One pair of flats for the actual ceremony because we have to walk almost half way across campus and I don't want to walk that far in heels, and a pair of fun heels to wear with the purple dress.
Green and blue snakeskin pattern dress
Purple checkered dress
Black patten leather heels
Silver gladiator-esque flats

Denverado!

2009-03-21T00:36:00.002-04:00

I made it home finally =)
My anthro paper took longer than expected but at least I had plenty of time to finish it and move before I had to fly home. My room seems so ridiculously large after living in Tabard.
Brody was in the car at the airport. She seemed a bit confused when I first showed up but she got excited and ended up sleeping in my lap the whole way home. She is now curled up on my bed. It is bed time for me too. Night =)

Its the final countdown

2009-03-13T23:12:00.002-04:00

In less than 12 hours I will be done with organic chemistry
so close, so far

Nerd Moment- Coevolution is awesome

2009-03-13T17:24:00.003-04:00

DRIVER ANTS ATTACKING A GRASSHOPPER

So I am watching the science channel while I do orgo problems (because I am such a cool kid). The first show was called Ant Wars. It was about a colony of driver ants. It was of course horrifying for me but so cool! The mating males are HUGE and have to walk up to the entry of the nest and pass the inspection of the worker ants. If they approve him as a mate for the queen the bite off his wings and carry him to her. After he mates they eat him. ewww. There was also a "war" between the forager/raider ants and a colony of termites. It was very feudal/castle seige-y especially with the dramatic music and commentary. The termites built a wall between the ants and the queen to save her. How nobel.

Did anybody else play the SimAnt computer game? Where the black ants fight the red ants to try and take over the yard? I wonder if you can still buy that. I would be into that.

Now I am watching Life in the Undergrowth with David Attenborough. Arthropods are crazy! There is this one spider that puts a sticky glob on the end of a long strand of silk. When a moth flies by it identifies the species and produces a species specific pheremone to get the moth to fly closer. It then swings the silk over its head and lassos the moth to eat it. How bad ass is that?!
There is also this bug from Australia called a Feather Leg Bug that has this really fluffy legs that it waves at ants passing by. It also produces an ant pheremone from a gland on the bottom of its abdomen. The bug lets the ants crawl all over him looking for the gland until it rears up to expose the gland. The ant trys to taste the gland and in doing so perfectly positions its head for the feather leg bug to stab it with a proboscus and suck out their guts. That is so fucked up.
There is also a bug that makes balls of larve on branches that look like and smell like a female bee. So a male bee comes up and tries to mate with it but instead gets caked in these parasites. He then goes off and mates with a real female and they all jump ship onto her. She then goes and lays her eggs with her pollen stash and they eat all of the pollen and the eggs.
Or how about the caterpilar that smells like an ant larvae that hangs out in an ant colony for over a year getting fed, cleaned and protected by the ants. But then this wasp wants to lay its eggs in that specific kind of caterpillar so it flys in and releases a pheremone that makes the ants attack each other. It just walks right in and injects its eggs into this caterpillar, which continues to get protected by the ants. The wasp hatches out of the caterpillar and leaves. The wasp can tell the difference between an ant larvae and a caterpillar but the ants can't. Nobody knows how the wasp can tell.

That is such a complicated fucking life cycle! But I like it because it dupes the ants. Ha, suckers..
Wow, I shouldn't blog on study buddies

ok back to orgo? Maybe a shower first

Reading Period Day 2

2009-03-12T22:38:00.006-04:00

I finished my problem set this morning. No more biostats woo! I was very unproductive after that though. Steph brought me sushi for dinner. Apparently I got roped into being the stage manager for a student production in the spring. Courtney, Katie and Steph are directing/acting in Godspell. We are going to do it outside. Its going to be sick and I get to spend lots of time outside at rehearsals. =) We had a production meeting tonight. It was a great waste of 4 hrs.
My finals fairy left me a really cute drawing:
Its my brody! I think my finals fairy is Iggy....not sure yet.
Orgo test on saturday =(
Back to my carbohydrate models

Reading Period Day 1

2009-03-11T19:12:00.004-04:00

First day. Not going too bad. Went to PT this morning at the hospital, then to the training room to get iontophoresis on my back. Kinda stung but wasn't that bad, yay for electricity pushing steroids into my skin. Went to the dirt cowboy for breakfast and some reading then spent a few hours in the pool room working on my stats problem set. I took a break for food and ended up getting sucked into socializing. The sun came out for the first time in days so Steph, Iggy, Steven and I decided to pretend it was spring and smoke hookah on the upper porch. Too bad we had to shovel off all the snow first =(
Now I am back in the pool room for the rest of the night. Jamie and Legs are getting wasted because they can't study sober (alcoholism...) and Kirby is chain smoking. Yay finals
I would rather be on a beach like this:
Or maybe swimming on the great barrier reef like this as long as there are no sharks

Ok back to work
study study study

Animals in the news

2009-03-10T17:17:00.002-04:00

Elephant with prosthetic limb

zoo chimp plans rock attacks on visitors

wow!
(and a little scary with the chimp)

the madness begins

2009-03-09T21:13:00.004-04:00

Almost into reading period just one more day of class tomorrow. I went to class then got my hair cut today. I like it when its this short =) Then I spent about 5 hours reading at the book store. I found a book that is a bunch of experts in a bunch of fields trying to answer the same question I am researching so thats helpful. Now I just have to turn a 600 page book into an 18 pg paper.

I just got pulled downstairs for the reading of the Megilla. Aparently today is a jewish holiday called Purim. The whole idea is about flipping things around. The rabbi read a story in hebrew (i followed in a book with english) about a queen named Esther and a man name Haman who is manipulating the king into killing the jews. Every time they say Haman's name you are supposed to yell and play a noise maker. You are also supposed to get tipsy enough to not be able to tell the difference between the wickedness of Haman and blessedness like the king did. So they were passing around a bottle of vodka and taking shots. The rabbi also handed out little bags of treats afterwards before heading off to the next frat he was reading at. I got GUSHERS! I love gushers =)

Yesterday was all sunny and 50 degrees. Today it snowed 4 inches of slush. If spring doesn't come soon I am going to turn translucent. Maybe then I could take up a job as a cave dwelling salamander or something.

See the resemblance?

ok back to work

99 days

2009-03-07T11:50:00.002-05:00

until I graduate from college. Thank the lord, I need to get out of this state. I am so sick of Hanover and so sick of Dartmouth. Almost done

In exactly one week I will be done with my orgo final. Hopefully that will be it for my orgo career. I ended up getting a 66/140 on the exam. The average was like an 87/140. Its bad but could have been worse. I am about 8% below the mean overall so I am looking at a C+ right now I think. Hopefully I can bring it up to a B- with the final, but I am not counting on it. I don't get why they structure a class so that the median ends up being a 65%. That means that half of the students don't know about half of the material. THEY AREN'T TEACHING! Gah I hate the chem department.

Just 11 more days until spring break....just keep swimming

wasting time

2009-03-05T23:19:00.006-05:00

my new favorite way to waste time is totem destroyer. Be careful, its an addictive game. The keyboard drumset is also fun. I also have been playing with my wii fit and I am sore! Gotta get strong again, grrr

I am so pale!!! I should start going tanning before I turn translucent.

Last night was the last Tabard meeting for the 09 exec board. The theme was naked meetings "the execs are going out the same way they came in". It was absurd. I wore my fh shorts and then made a smiliey face over my chest with painters tape. I felt really naked but I was totally out done. One girl came only in saran wrap, another wearing only a guitar. Andrew Gates was completely naked during the judging of "most naked". I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess the whippets weren't a good idea. I was hungover this morning.

Went to the psychiatrist this morning, luckily I wasn't that hungover. Apparently I am an enigma. I have a few sympotms in a couple areas but not all of them in any. She said I actually seemed pretty well balanced (yay me!). She gave me a prescription for some fast acting anti-anxiety med that I can take whenever I feel like I need it but she didn't seem to think that I was doing bad. That made me feel pretty good. I am always kinda worried they are going to think i'm crazy.

I can't wait to be done with school. Only 3 more days of class until spring break. Then I can get my tattoo finished (ouch) and snowboard with hannah (yay!)

-faith

March 4th

2009-03-04T16:21:00.006-05:00

Things I miss:
-vegan baking
-board games
-lookout mountain hikes
-road trips
-watercourse
-little spoon
-last/first phone call every day
-coloring books
-being annoyingly cute
-laughing all the time
-playing dress up
- not-on-tv shane
- having a family
-houses that always smell like baking
-staying up all night
-making a racket catching mice
-silly names
- spitting in the shower
-veganaise
-sitting in parking lots is jeep grand cherokees
-security
-that amazingly comfortable bed
-fighting super-sized spiders with math books
-not melting
-being constantly amazed
-playing on playgrounds
-hanging out with the boys
-fitting into the notch in your neck
-dreaming good
-walking brody
-wandering around whole foods
-being believed in

-faith

Today

2009-03-03T20:03:00.002-05:00

was much better than yesterday. Yesterday was awful. I may have gotten a 30/140 on my chem test. I have never fucked up a test that bad ever. And after spending the day getting yelled at and reading a lot of questions I couldn't answer I froze and forgot every reaction mechanism I had memorized. Miserable. I am worried about getting a C in the class at this point. FML

Today was better. I played with my wii fit for the first time. It says I am strong but have bad posture. No shocker there. I really like the soccer goalie game clearly. I was really bad at the skiing game though.

I finished my ring today! Perfect timing too today is 3/03 and my ring says 3 heart 3 on it =) yay colorado day! Its also square root day 3/03/09. Yay math!

Here is a picture of my ring, you can't see the mountains very well but they are textured to look like they have trees and a tree line. woo

New Low

2009-03-01T21:20:00.005-05:00

I have an orgo exam tomorrow night and a stats problem set due tomorrow. This has been hell weekend because I couldn't just study. Saturday was strike for Grapes of Wrath and today was house day so I was busy for most of both days. I have been on adderall for the last two days and now I have hit a new low. I filled a diet coke bottle with red wine to drink while I studied in the library. Classy Jordan...
I am so shneaky

Strike was fun. I got to smash concrete and rocks with a sledge hammer for six hours. My back is so sore! Fiona and I were singing the opening song of Les Mis while we smashed, you know the chain gang song. Good times. Then Courtney, Steph, Katie, Jen and I all went to 5 olde for drinks afterwards. We were there till closing

This weekend is going to kill me.

Just keep pushing along like a penguin on my belly

I miss my friends. I miss my home. I miss feeling like a smart student. Most of all I miss knowing that I was doing things right. At least I had a chance to apologize.

confuzzling chondrichthyes

2009-02-25T23:15:00.005-05:00

So last night I had a dream that I saw a psychiatrist and she called me an alcoholic. I said but I don't drink that much. She said that just proved her point. Then she puts me on a whole slew of meds, one of which has the side effect of chemically altering my tear ducts such that it produced a chemical irresistible to bull sharks so I wasn't allowed to swim in the ocean........I'm sure there is a meaning in all that subconscious symbolism but I don't want to go there.

usually the sharks in my dreams are hammerheads or great whites. this would be the first bull shark. Bull sharks are the only sharks that can swim up rivers and survive for extended periods in fresh water. So I guess I should stay out of all water with my shark attracting tear ducts.

I didn't get much sleep last night because of my shoulders. I also forgot to do my prelab for today until 1:30 last night. But on the brightside NO MORE ORGO LABS EVER! Just biochem next term =/

ANTS!

2009-02-24T20:41:00.002-05:00

Kind of terrifying but awesome and beautiful none the less.
Considering each individual only has 260,000 neurons compared to our approximately 100 billion thats pretty fucking impressive.
Things like this always leave me in awe of how amazing the world really is if we take the time to look and respect the value of other life forms.

Went to my ring class again tonight. I finished my big "3heart3" ring, its going to be made out of silver. I was going to do a small ring in gold with my gold tattoo symbol on it but the smallest ring I could make was going to cost over 200 dollars so I decided to wait until I was better at jewelry making. I had plans of being all productive tonight but I went to pub trivia with steph instead.

on the subject of segmented creatures, I had a dream that I had tapeworm/lice like things living under the skin of my scalp. reeaaaaaaally gross. I pulled one out and it snapped in two and went back into my skull. eww

snowy sunday

2009-02-23T01:00:00.002-05:00

from fmylife.com
"Today my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML"

that gave me a good chuckle.

I think it is time for more steroid injections in my back. Its getting hard to sleep again. Bizarrely when I don't sleep well I get really bad cramps in my calves from being tense and they hurt more than my back. wtf legs

Went to a party at Carl's house. Twas quite fun. I got to play with his puppy and three cats. We had a "heat wave BBQ" but Carl had to use the snow blower to even get to the barbecue. It was snowing very hard so we had to leave early to make sure we got back to campus. It took us over an hour.

We will get to the bbq damn it!
Carl's crazy ass hair
Praying at the pews in Carl's breakfast nook. I helped refinish them last spring.
Making salad/drinking with Courtney, Jen, and Katie. We were the first to show up even though we were an hour late.
Carl reading "poetry"

kidnapped!

2009-02-21T21:14:00.002-05:00

steph got mad i was being lame and came and threw me out of bed. i cut my knee on a keychain on the floor. i tried to tell her lame was the new cool but she didn't agree. she dragged me downstairs in my pjs but i snuck away and locked my door this time. so shneaky

Zoe keating

2009-02-19T21:31:00.005-05:00

I am in love with this artist. She is a solo cellist who layers her music over itself. Aaaaamazing. Great study music. And she is touring with Amanda Palmer! I wish I could go see!

Tonight was the tabard formal. I went for the food but I am retiring now at 8:40. I am so lame. I don't like being drunk around so many people. Oh well. Lame is the new cool.From my pjs and make up, checking out my poster i finally got a frame for. its signed in the bottom left. cool huh?

most delicious cookie ever!

2009-02-19T14:53:00.002-05:00

taken from the this is why you're fat blog
i want to do this. maybe when I'm not sick anymore. that would definitely make me puke. but it looks delicious. and its vegan, good for the bunnies and such =)

brody's birthday!!

2009-02-19T00:35:00.004-05:00

I am such a bad mom. This is the second year I have not been around for brody's birthday. Thats 2 for 2!
At least the doggy daycare posted a video of her for me
she has grown so much
she was so little! I miss that. I miss char too. Distance is hard but I know its for the best right now.

ugh

2009-02-17T17:27:00.002-05:00

I woke up feeling very sick this morning. Like tummy ache and dizzy sick. I didn't go to my afternoon classes. I am going to my Ring Casting class tonight though. I'm really excited. I'll post pictures of the ring when I am done. I have spent most of the afternoon in bed watching SVU. Kate Moening was in one episode as a trans-man. She always gets those rolls. She is still hot though. Looks better with the shorter Shane hair though.
lol cats make me feel better though.
nom pop nom pop nom
I want a kitty!

wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

2009-02-16T22:51:00.003-05:00

just bought myself a wii and wii fit on ebay
It was a couple weeks worth of pay but it was cheaper on ebay than it would be to buy it anywhere else i've looked
i'm excited!

I also got a free can of corn! Two random cans of corn were given as donations for disco....we didn't ask for can food, someone just brought them.

Valentines day

2009-02-14T18:18:00.002-05:00

booo worst holiday ever.
Brody is my valentine this year.

can't sleep

2009-02-13T00:10:00.002-05:00

I just watched a really disturbing SVU and its keeping me from sleeping. A woman accuses her ex husband of raping her. When he gets out on bail he lights her on fire with gasoline. The detectives visit her in the hospital and she says she got him good but still says he raped her. She ends up suffering horribly and dying of her injuries. It turns out that she made up the rape just to get back at him for the divorce. Elliot ends up agreeing with his wife's request for a divorce because he says "I don't want her to ever regret me like that."
I can't get that out of my head. Both the screaming, burnt woman and elliot's line. I don't want to be a regret. I know I've made mistakes, but I don't want to be regretted. I don't regret the time i spent with char. I hope she doesn't regret the time she spent with me.

lolanimals make me happy

2009-02-12T23:06:00.003-05:00

I really really want a kitty. But I will have to wait until I move someplace for vet school which won't be for a while. =(

Winter Carnival?

2009-02-12T22:59:00.002-05:00

So its supposed to be winter carnival this weekend but it was 47 degrees today and 49 yesterday. It was so hot, in fact, that the 30 ft tall snow replica of Moosilauke lodge for the 100th anniversary of the DOC became structurally unsound and had to be torn down after 3 weeks of work. They turned it into a "mountain" with a snow slide "river" meaning they just made a huge 3 week pile of snow. nice.
It was raining today, which is bizarre in Februray. The whole green is a mud pit. And there are huge slabs of ice falling off every building. One of the cars in the tabard parking lot almost got its windsheild smashed. Dangerous times.

Emo mood i guess

2009-02-11T20:12:00.001-05:00

Hawthorne Heights Silver Bullet

Tonight, we fly away so high.
Our first full moon sky.

I'll breathe you in,
I won't let you down,

I won't hold you back,

I won't make a sound.

I know what scares you the most.

Being Alone,
Just like them,
Being Alive,
Feeling so... DEAD.

At least you'll have my... HEART.
You know you shine so bright.

Got a single Silver Bullet
Shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive,
Without you.
Got a single Silver Bullet,
Shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive,
Without you.

Can you sleep at night,
If I hold you tight.
I won't let you go,
This feels so right.

Please don't leave this... TIME.

At least you'll have my... HEART.
You know you shine so bright.

Got a single Silver Bullet
Shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive,
Without you.
Got a single Silver Bullet,
Shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive,
Without you.

Tonight, we fly away so high,
Tonight, We fly away.
You know the moon is full and,
I can't live without you.

Tonight we'll fly away
(Got a single silver bullet, shot right through my heart)
Tonight we'll fly, tonight...

Got a single Silver Bullet
Shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive,
Without you.
Got a single Silver Bullet,
Shot right through my heart.
To prove I can survive.

Got a single Silver Bullet
(Tonight we'll fly away so high)
Shot right through my heart.
(Our first full moon sky)
To prove I can survive,
Without you.

Got a single Silver Bullet,
(Tonight we'll fly away so high)
Shot right through my heart.
(Our first full moon sky.)
To prove I can survive,
Without you.

Walter!

2009-02-09T16:17:00.003-05:00

So Tracy watched Walter, my rubber tree, over break. When I came back to campus I had to carry Walter back across campus in a cardboard box. In the five minute walk back to my room all of Walter's top leaves froze! They all shriveled up and turned black and fell off. I was very sad. But Walter is sprouting new leaves again! I'm such a proud mama/ this is what happens when I don't have a dog.

Old Snowy Pictures

2009-02-09T16:12:00.002-05:00

I finally uploaded my pictures from after the snow storm 2 weeks ago
On the green.
Walled sidewalks
A snowy Tabard.
At least its pretty when the sky is blue!
Yesterday was the first day all year when it has been above freezing for 24 hours. Very exciting times. I can't wait until spring.

dios mio

2009-02-08T18:26:00.003-05:00

so much chemistry. Its absurd. There are just so many reaction mechanisms in these three chapters! Over 40..I know maybe 10 of them well, I can guess on another 20, probably another 10 I have no idea about. The question is do I try and pull an all nighter or sleep and try and study more tomorrow?

on a positive note, I finally got the balls to email sharkums and it was good =) I think I said what I needed to say and it wasn't taken in the wrong way. I know I've got a long way to go but at least I feel like I am moving in the right direction and moving towards being what I want to be. Maybe I'll make it home some day.

"Fish are friends, not food"

Don't Divorce Us, Love Will Prevail

2009-02-08T13:36:00.001-05:00

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

this video made me cry

story of my life right now

2009-02-07T20:01:00.003-05:00

yay the amanda palmer videos are back on youtube!!!

maybe i should shave my eyebrows. its a hot look

hookah!

2009-02-06T19:07:00.002-05:00

I finally got Meli's abandoned hookah to work =)

Friday

2009-02-06T18:02:00.004-05:00

Its been a crazy week. I worked 23 hours in the theater this week which is over double of what I normally do but at least I am making money. The set for Grapes of Wrath is completely insane. I am currently building the running river and swimming pool. I will take some pictures the next time I am in there.

I FINALLY GOT AN ANSWER TO MY BACK PAIN!!! I am so excited. Almost as excited as when I found out I had a hernia. It turns out that the knots in my back aren't actually muscle spasms, they are lumps of scar tissue from my muscle spasms in the fall. That is why my muscle relaxants didn't do jack shit for the pain. But the doctor started me on trigger point injections of lidocain and cortisone directly into the scar tissue to help break it up and get rid of the pain and I can do them every two weeks. Unfortunately I will still have to go do PT at the hospital to try and fix my shoulder mechanics. The injections will hopefully take away some of the pain in the next couple days so I might actually get a good nights sleep for the first time this year. All very exciting news.

I will be spending the rest of the weekend studying for my orgo test on monday so I will probably not have any fun weekend stories. Ah well. I need more study music. I really like the STS9 but it usually makes me more sad and distracted than focused and studious.

still trying to figure out if i should try and talk to sharkums....

Photograph ~ Andrea Gibson

2009-02-04T09:44:00.001-05:00

I wish I was a photograph
tucked into the corners of your wallet
I wish I was a photograph
you carried like a future in your back pocket
I wish I was that face you show to strangers
when they ask you where you come from
I wish I was that someone that you come from
every time you get there
and when you get there
I wish I was that someone who got phone calls
and postcards saying
wish you were here
I wish you were here
autumn is the hardest season
the leaves are all falling
and they're falling like they're falling in love with the ground
and the trees are naked and lonely
I keep trying to tell them
new leaves will come around in the spring
but you can't tell trees those things
they're like me they just stand there
and don't listen
I wish you were here
I've been missing you like crazy
I've been hazy eyed
staring at the bottom of my glass again
thinking of that time when it was so full
it was like we were tapping the moon for moonshine
or sticking straws into the center of the sun
and sipping like icarus would forever kiss
the bullets from our guns
I never meant to fire you know
I know you never meant to fire lover
I know we never meant to hurt each other
now the sky clicks from black to blue
and dusk looks like a bruise
I've been wrapping one night stands
around my body like wedding bands
but none of them fit in the morning
they just slip off my fingers and slip out the door
and all that lingers is the scent of you
I once swore if I threw that scent into a wishing well
all the wishes in the world would come true
do you remember
do you remember the night I told you
I've never seen anything more perfect than
than snow falling in the glow of a street light
electricity bowing to nature
mind bowing to heartbeat
this is gonna hurt bowing to I love you
I still love you like moons love the planets they circle around
like children love recess bells
I still hear the sound of you
and think of playgrounds
where outcasts who stutter
beneath braces and bruises and acne
are finally learning that their rich handsome bullies
are never gonna grow up to be happy
I think of happy when I think of you
so wherever you are I hope you're happy
I really do
I hope the stars are kissing your cheeks tonight
I hope you finally found a way to quit smoking
I hope your lungs are open and breathing your life
I hope there's a kite in your hand
that's flying all the way up to orion
and you still got a thousand yards of string to let out
I hope you're smiling
like god is pulling at the corners of your mouth
cause I might be naked and lonely
shaking branches for bones
but I'm still time zones away
from who I was the day before we met
you were the first mile
where my heart broke a sweat
and I wish you were here
I wish you'd never left
but mostly I wish you well
I wish you my very very best

haircut and bored

2009-02-03T18:35:00.005-05:00

Last night was ridiculous, I ended up running around the entire house and hid in a shower and under steph's desk before iggy and steph found me and put me in bed. Yay for the first pong game of senior year. At least I wasn't hungover this time.
I got my hair cut today. Don't I look sharp?
I was bored with photo booth

yes thats a whippet charger in my ear and that is nefarious nick in the background
I miss the boys =(
I just burnt my tongue on ramen noodle.

The ortho doc finally got back to me on my MRI and says I only have shoulder tendonitis. Tracy and I think that is complete bullshit because I have had tendonitis for the last four years. I am going to try and get in to see another doctor to try and figure it out.
cross your fingers for another hernia...in my back?

It was Rylee's birthday today, there are pictures of it on the doggie daycare blog
There is also a video of brody in the snow.......i miss my dog!

was there with sharks

2009-02-03T00:03:00.002-05:00

pong, drunk again

2009-02-03T00:01:00.001-05:00

blah

2009-02-01T23:09:00.003-05:00

I'm irritated. I don't like loud people. I don't like people in my space. I don't like it when people fuck up simple jobs. At least I don't have to move next term. I wish the doctor would get back to me so I could find out about my MRI. I am sick of having to drug myself to sleep because I hurt too much. My therapist wants to put me on ambien but that kind of freaks me out and I don't want to....I wish I was ok to just sleep on my own.
I don't like it when people think they know whats best for other people.

I am sick of only having "i don't know" for an answer. I don't like not knowing or being able to explain what I want, or where I want to go, what I want to do...
I miss her a lot. I miss having her in my life. I think about her all the time. But she deserves better than "i miss you"'s followed by "i don't know"s

Like scrat misses his nut...

2009-01-31T17:42:00.006-05:00

Gah, so hungover this morning. Then I had to go wrestle giant cables in the theater for light hang.
I'm watching ice age two right now. I am sooooooo excited for ice age three. i love me some scrat. It makes me sad that he never gets the nut. Rylee ate the jaw off of my scrat stuffed animal.

So far this post makes me sound like an alcoholic 4 year old. super.
Had a bad night last night. First one in a while. I got scared with all the loud noises and after drinking a fourty....bad news.

trout heart replica

2009-01-30T23:12:00.001-05:00

and killing things is not so hard its hurting thats the hardest part

What I've Done

2009-01-29T22:25:00.000-05:00

Don't lie, you love Phantom

2009-01-28T21:11:00.002-05:00

I'm seeing it over spring break in Denverado =)

And Nightwish singing phantom

- wishing you were somehow here again........

Elvira Kurt

2009-01-25T11:16:00.001-05:00

Brody!

2009-01-23T21:43:00.005-05:00

My dog was dog of the day at doggie day care! She was the first one to figure out how to climb up the slide and has taught other dogs =) I'm so proud. Check it out on the doggie day care blog:
http://allaboutpaws.blogspot.com/
Brody also has this weird habit of making out with rylee.....

its a little weird. but i love her anyways.

Lesbian Fight!

2009-01-22T18:35:00.002-05:00

The Potato Pirates made a video for lesbian fight finally. Zach looks so grown up but Stebe and Nick still look like they did in high school. Anyways here are the boys

I need animals!

2009-01-22T18:24:00.004-05:00

I think I am going through pet withdrawl. In the last hour I have googled information about:
1) pet cats
pretty straight forward
2) wolf dogs
just a really bad idea
3) pet raccoons
I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaally want one but are illegal to own in colorado<---lame
4) pet skunks
Deglanded of course, but still illegal in colorado<-----still lame
5) pet squirrel
kind of scary when they grow up but are none the less illegal to own in colorado damn it!
6) pet ducks
not illegal but I am worried about them getting eaten by the cat (see part 1)

I would have to discuss this all with Brody first of course. She is rather jealous of my attentions. I don't know how she would feel about a skunk wandering around the house. She might eat a squirrel. She is scared of ravens so the duck may be a no go. A raccoon would out smart her or get into some complicated battle of wits. She might just have to suck it up and accept a cat friend though.

Also, my rubber plant Walter is looking pretty sad. Even though I had him in a box as I walked 5 minutes across campus, the top leaves all froze and have now fallen off. Its like he got a hair cut....sad Walter.

falling

2008-12-28T03:10:00.002-05:00

the hardest part of my day is falling asleep. i don't know why. after so many years of the same routine and the same voice saying good night and i love you it is jarring to have to do it alone every single night. its not being physically alone that bothers me, its the mental isolation. especially in my room here at home. its like a fucking isolation chamber. at least in tabard i can always hear another human being in my close proximity.
i forgot why i would stay up so late doing absolutely nothing in high school. i would stay up for hours writing up song lyrics or making duct tape messenger bags or drawing just because i didn't like getting in bed, turning off the light and sitting alone with my thoughts. i would stay up until i knew i would be able to pass out as soon as i lay my head down.
once i got to college i would just drink or take something to knock me out if i had to fall asleep alone, but usually i could call her and hear her voice and that would be enough. i can't remember how many times i fell asleep on the phone freshman year.
so here i am again trying to stay up until exhaustion so i can sleep. i wish getting to sleep were as easy as just falling.

damn the man

2008-12-28T03:08:00.004-05:00

the amanda palmer videos aren't on youtube because of a legal clusterfuck with warner. you can read about it on amanda's blog which you should read anyways because it is pretty entertaining (http://blog.amandapalmer.net/)

astronaut

2008-12-05T23:48:00.000-05:00

also very good, from Who Killed Amanda Palmer

runs in the family

2008-12-05T23:47:00.001-05:00

from Who Killed Amanda Palmer? check it out

where i stood- missy higgins

2008-12-04T22:26:00.001-05:00

thanks for the mix betsy.  very appropriate song.

I don't know what I've done
Or if I like what I've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
LIttle voices whispering
That I should go and this should end
Oh and I found myself listening

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

See I thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you ain't leaving without a fight
And I think I am just as torn inside

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood

And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do

'Cos I dont know who I am, who I am without you
All I know is that I should
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood

Honesty

2008-11-21T14:15:00.002-05:00

So I have a new resolution. I will be honest with the people around me and honest with myself about my actions, desires and motivations. This seems like its pretty straight forward but from an early age I learned that dishonesty was easier if I could keep moving but its all catching up to me now.

i will find you

2008-11-20T16:09:00.000-05:00

new mixtape

2008-11-19T01:26:00.001-05:00

On Guilt

2008-11-10T13:53:00.001-05:00

littlebird with broken wing
doused the burning beauty
and even though it tried to sing
the sun back to the sky
the darkness froze and hate
enclosed the creature's sad advances
"Goodbye littlebird. I've finally heard."
You get no second chances.

Found It

2008-03-16T05:14:00.000-04:00

Here is that net act I was talking about

Jet Lag

2008-03-16T04:54:00.003-04:00

so clearly I was bad about posting for most of the time I was in NZ. After we moved out of the railway campus I didn't have very good internet access and I was lazy/writing an ungodly number of papers.

Anyways I am back now and terribly jet lagged. The 20 hr difference from NZ to CO wouldn't have been too bad because its only 4 hrs of real day time difference, but the 17 hr difference from Brisbane to CO is killing me. So now it is 3 am and I am wide awake, much to the displeasure of my dog who is grumbling and hiding her face in my pillows to get out of the light.

On the flight from Sydney to San Fransisco I watched a video of Pink's I'm Not Dead tour on the in flight entertainment system thingy. Pink can do circus shit!!! She was on the aerial net for the song Fingers (and she actually could do a few tricks, even a drop) I can't find a video for it though. In the finale she had 4 hot pink fabrics. I wish I had a hot pink fabric. I think that Sarah is the only one who can fully appreciate how fabulous that is.

Images from the 18 km Tongoriro Crossing near Lake Taupo

2008-01-11T09:24:00.001-05:00

Old Trees in New Zealand

2008-01-02T05:39:00.000-05:00

A 300 year old fig tree outside the police station in Russel.

Tree in a Park in Auckland. The branches were so big they had to be supported by metal crutches.

These symmetrical looking pine trees are all over the place. They look like cell phone towers but are real.

Me in a kaori tree at the tree museum.

At the tree museum again. The rings on the wall show the diameters of the largest known kaori trees.
The inner most ring on the wall is Tane Mahuta, the tallest living kaori tree. Below are pictures of Tane.

They say that Tane is hollowing out and dying and will fall over soon.

Auckland Day 1: The Railway Campus

2007-12-27T23:34:00.000-05:00

We landed at 4:40 this morning and got to the Railway Campus around 7:00 am. Unfortunately, they weren't expecting us until 2 pm so we had to wait a few hours to get our rooms. We wandered around until we found a cafe to have breakfast in. Even at 7:30 we were the only people on the streets.

The building used to be the main railway station for Auckland but it has been converted into student housing. The lobby is pretty impressive. Much nicer than the River.

Almost nobody is staying here right now because it is prime vacation season. A lot of the stores and restaurants are closed until January because their owners are on holiday. The building is pretty nice. There are game rooms, a TV lounge, a gym, a large kitchen for residents, and a big common room in the main terminal of the station with a giant chess board.

We are staying in suites of three bedrooms around a communal "tea and toast" kitchen and a bathroom.

The rooms are nice. It was great to be able to shower and lay down full length on the bed instead of being crumpled up in a plane seat.

LAMPS!

2007-12-22T00:48:00.001-05:00

So I have a weird obsession with random lamps. Here is a sample of some of the ones I have in Colorado with me.
This is my new "altar of light" if you will. The two oil lamps on the ends are my newest finds. I also really like the mini stained glass one on the left.

My sister bought me this one off of Ebay and spray painted it pink. I <3 her!

This is my snowman lamp that I have had for as long as I can remember. I got the other brass one from my grand mother last year for Christmas. It was her aunt's I think.

Last but not least, AFI

hehro

2007-12-17T02:27:00.000-05:00

So I guess I am starting a blog. We'll see if I remember to post things.

In the meantime watch the new She Wants Revenge Video. I am really liking their new cd.